when you date at will, the questions you ask your sexual partner may be limited to basic questions, such as, "do you have a condom?" And "have you ever tested for STIs?" But once you're in a comfortable, committed relationship, you should ask deeper questions. Not only do you want to make sure that your physical intimacy is consistent, but you absolutely don't want your "sexy time" to turn into a nap. "By checking with each other regularly, you can continue to strengthen your sexual communication, which has a strong correlation with sexual satisfaction," said Tonya McDaniel, a licensed sex therapist. Read on to find out what sexual questions you should ask your partner - and then start a conversation about starting.
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1. What's your favorite "menu item"?
hug. Send message. Shower sex. Fast. There are many "items" on the foreplay and sex menu. Dr. Lynn Ianni, a psychotherapist, said that MFT helps couples with sexual problems, "the most important thing to strengthen a sexual relationship is to open a dialogue about your preferences. The more you talk about it, the better your sex life will be. "If you have a contrasting" menu item "with your partner, Dr. Ianni suggests that you" take turns doing what you like best on the menu one day and what your partner likes best the other day. " How often do you like to have sex? When it comes to sexual frequency, there is no right or wrong answer. Some people want it every day. Others are more than happy to eat once a week. Psychotherapist Lynn Ianni, PhD, MFT, said: "when you are in a committed relationship, you need to discuss how often you like to be close so that you both feel sexually satisfied." What if you and your partner have different answers? "Compromise," suggested Dr. If one likes it every day and the other likes it twice a week, then agree to have sex three to four times a week. " Now listen to me:
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What do you fancy?
from joining the middle high club to participating in the "power game" cosplay, both men and women have a variety of sexual fantasies. In a loyal relationship, you can build trust by talking about fantasies. "Don't be afraid to ask your partner what they fantasize about, but be prepared to share your fantasies with them," says Christie oferstrett, a clinical sexologist and psychotherapist. Natalie fingoud Goldberg, a certified therapist, added, "fantasizing about life is important to keep things excited. Some people already know their fantasies. For those who don't know, it makes them think of them and maybe start to cultivate their fantasy life. " Please read more: the amazing moment of most couples having sex: credit card:
4. "Do you masturbate? There's no need to give up the "quality of time alone" when you're in a relationship, but you should be ready to talk to your partner. According to certified therapist Natalie fingood Goldberg, "it's important for couples to know if their partner masturbates. This question usually has several follow-up questions: when? What for? How long? By knowing the answers to these questions, it can deepen your intimacy with your partner because it gives you insight into their sexual orientation. "Certified therapist Tonia McDaniel also recommends sharing masturbation." You can watch your partner masturbate to increase some spice peeping activities. Or you can touch their bodies as they continue to masturbate. "
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5. Have you ever [blank]?
falling in love means exploring areas of curiosity with a partner you trust. Unless you ask, you never know what your partner has tried or is willing to try. Natalie finegood Goldberg, a certified therapist, shared her approach, asking couples to talk about whether they would or would not: "I asked them to fill out a so-called yes / no / possible list, a list of widely collected sexual and erotic activities. Each partner selects yes, no, or possible for each item in the list. Then they compare the list to see what they all want to try, and what their partner doesn't want to try, and what's in the middle. "Read more" strong ": 6 worst foods. Before sex, 5 best foods are" credit ": 6. [blank] me? When it comes to fascinating sex, ask yourself what you want to be a game changer. "While some people may think it's going to take away your spontaneity, asking a partner directly is the surest way to make sure your desires are known," said Natalie finegood Goldberg of MIT CST. If you don't want to tell your partner what you like in sex, psychologist Lynn Ianni, Ph.D., of MIT, has a technique for couples to take turns as teachers and students for 15 minutes. One partner said, "I hope you [blank, blank and blank]," and the other partner did a series of things. Then they switch roles. Dr. Ianni explained, "you're teaching your partner what you like so you can incorporate that information into your sex."
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7. Is there a restricted area? When you are in a relationship for a long time, you sometimes take a vacation at your other half's parents' home. At some point you may want to be naked with him or her. Is sex a choice? Or would it be awkward to know that their parents are under the same roof? Should you solve it in advance? Dr Lynn Ianni, a psychotherapist, said: "it's important to ask your partner such questions. It talks about how intimacy and communication can enhance sexual relationships. " Read more: why millennials have less sex than you think. Should I be wary of past problems?
when a partner does not publicly talk about past trauma to another partner, such as sexual harassment, sexual assault or rape, your or your partner's sexual problems may beUnexpected appearance in any form of physical intimacy. Psychotherapist Lynn Ianni, Ph.D., MFT, recommends that you "assure your partner that you are in a safe place and that you want them to feel comfortable with you. "Respect their issues and privacy." She added, "when you feel safe with each other, it gives you creativity, fun and exploration."
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9. "What's wrong with me? When it comes to foreplay and sex, it's hard to ask your partner if you've done something that doesn't feel good. However, you should not be afraid to ask this question. "When they give you this kind of feedback, be prepared not to think about it as a personal thing," explains Dr Christie oferstrett, a clinical sexologist and psychotherapist. "If you want to touch your partner in some way and they tell you you don't feel good about them, ask them what they feel better," she suggests.
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10. "What else can I do?" Turn you on? In our hurried lifestyle, sexual contact in love becomes very goal-oriented (that is, who can reach orgasm first). "By shifting your attention from the genitals to other aspects of the body, it can help you shift your attention from linear development (foreplay leads to orgasm) to more energetic and interesting exploration," suggests licensed sex therapist Tonia McDaniel. She added, "the body changes over time. Women experience major hormonal events during pregnancy, care and menopause. Men also experience hormonal changes associated with aging. These changes in hormone levels affect your sense of touch. As a result, you may need physical stimulation different from 10, 20, or 30 years ago. "
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11. What makes you fall in love with me? What is the relationship between love and wonderful sex? Everything. Especially in a loyal relationship. "By increasing your emotional intimacy outside the bedroom, you can increase your sexual passion in the bedroom," explains licensed sex therapist Tonia McDaniel. For many, sex includes adventure and vulnerability. If you are confident in your partner's feelings and feel safe in the relationship, you may be more willing to explore sex or feel relaxed enough to enjoy the sensual feelings. " "Once a couple has established a trust and intimacy over time, it can make them more comfortable with their sexual orientation and explore new areas together," she added.
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12. Do you want to open up our relationship with others? The question is for those who are interested in finding other sexual partners in a committed relationship. "If you want to have a third person in a threesome or if you're interested in having multiple partners, share it with your partner," says certified therapist Christie oferstrett. "Don't be afraid to share this. But it must be put forward when both sides have time to discuss. In our culture, planned sex has become a byword for boredom and boredom. Movies and TV programs make us believe that sex is natural. But what happens if you or your partner has a strict schedule or children? Certified therapist Tonia McDaniel recommends scheduled treatment. "Arranging sex increases the likelihood of a successful sex life," she said. Not only do you have to communicate that sex is a priority, but you can also choose a time when there is least disruption or when it is likely to be interrupted. When you really focus on your partner and your physical reactions, you can increase your sexual satisfaction and pleasure. "
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What do you think? What questions are you afraid to ask your partner? Did your partner ask you these questions? Please let us know in the comments below!
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