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Here's how to communicate like an outgoing person if you're shy

if you are an introvert, it is likely that the thought of social activities is enough to make you cringe. After all, the idea of approaching strangers and having industry-related chats with them can worry more extroverts. It will feel forced or even embarrassed to communicate with others for professional purposes. Sometimes it seems safer to avoid it altogether. But you don't need to be a social flower to work in a room. There are a lot of introverted and friendly strategies that can help you build real relationships and improve your career without pushing you too far. Here are 10 ways to connect when you do anything.

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1. Choose the right event for you. Set your own success by choosing a social activity that's good for you, rather than getting you into anxiety. An open social forum tends to put introverts at a disadvantage, explains lea berry, a certified life and career coach based in Washington, D.C., because such events lack structure and tend to be more like a free event. " Instead, look at the local network organizations that provide planning matches for one-on-one interactions. Dr Natalie datillo, a clinical psychologist who claims to be introverted, added that it might help to attend events or specific discussion topics arranged by speakers. This usually reduces some of the pressure because you and other participants already have a common interest or experience, "she said. Get involved. Although you may not think that you are a good participant, as a member of a professional association or committee, you can help you establish contact with people in your field without all the tedious work of meeting and greeting. " "With volunteering, you'll meet movers and shakers in your organization," says Chicago psychologist Helen Odessky, author of "stop worrying and stop you." when you share ideas in meetings, you'll be able to present yourself as a knowledgeable professional and start building relationships with other committee members. " She explained that this strategy is naturally suitable for introverts, who are usually more willing to show their skills and talents than to talk about themselves. Now listen to the Simpsons: the author shared his interesting journey from couch potatoes to marathon. Set an achievable goal. No matter what kind of social environment you enter, it is important to have a practical plan that suits your personality. " "Instead of trying to work in the whole room, pick two or three people to get close," advises Ali wenzke, an Internet expert. If you target three five minute conversations, you can succeed in 15 minutes. You can do anything in 15 minutes. "Making yourself meet your expectations will make the next activity less stressful. Credit: Twenty20 / @ katiekhromova

4. Use body language to make yourself more approachable. If you go to someone you don't know and start a conversation that sounds intimidating, wenzke suggests taking the right position and encouraging people to come to you. " "Smile, eye contact, arms together," she said. Open body language and confident posture will let the rest of the room know that you are ready to speak. "If no one comes to you, try standing next to a group with an open circle, and others will include you in their conversation. (if they don't know, you may not want to know them anyway. Speak foul language!

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5. Bring a friend. It's a very useful way to break the deadlock with other people. " Especially if your friends like to talk, you can take the time to listen and exclaim where it's best for you, rather than driving the whole conversation, "Berry said. Your friend doesn't need to be in your industry, or even in a similar industry; to have him or her is to support you and make it easier for you to deal with it.

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6. Listen more and talk less. You are less likely to like to hear what others are saying than to direct the conversation. It's good for you, said winzk. The best talker is not the talker. "They are the audience," she explained. Use your strengths, like, 'I'd love to hear more about the new project you're working on. Can you tell me? " People will be excited to tell you all the details of their life and work. Datillo also believes that listening can make a good first impression on you. But if the person you are talking to is introverted, you may fall into an awkward silence. If that happens, she suggests, "Wow, that's interesting. I was just thinking about what you said. I'm curious. Can you tell me more? " In this way, the conversation is likely to resume naturally. Prepare a list of questions.

if thinking on the spot is not your obstacle, brainstorm some well thought out open-ended career coach Cheryl E. Palmer before you start, suggesting that you socialize, meet potential coffee instructors, or connect with other professionals. " "Before taking part in social activities, ask questions that can be used as an introduction to a conversation, so as to avoid the embarrassment caused by the gap between conversations," she said. If you are participating in a professional association meeting, you may ask other participants such as "how long have you been with the association?" Or "how long have you been in this field?" She added that such questions open the door for you to get to know the person and relieve you of most of the stress of the conversation. The credit of

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8. Give yourself a chance.

because introverts are good listeners, you may be stuck in conversation longer than you feel comfortable - it may make you want to not talk with others, because you are afraid that your ears will be interrupted again. " "Don't spend more than five or seven minutes with anyone," aldersky suggests. Then politely say 'it's nice talking to you, I'd be happy to contact you after the event. May I have your card? " This gives you a chance to get to know other people, get more out of social activities, and get out of boredom or discomfort (necessaryWhen).

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9. Don't judge your success by how many cards you play. When it comes to business cards, although relationships are about building connections, you shouldn't measure your success by the number of cards you send or receive. There are other ways to get value from connecting with other professionals. " "Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to send a business card to anyone, especially when you feel stressed," said datillo. Occasionally, I take part in an activity just to practice talking with strangers. This can reduce stress and make you more expressive in the moment. " As with anything, practice can build confidence, which in the long run will serve you better than simply passing on information.

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10. When you are ready, go. Like anything else, it's important to know when you're full. It's easy for an introvert to get tired of talking to strangers, and any time after you start to feel exhausted won't do you any good. Even if it means you only spend 15 minutes, it doesn't matter. " "Give yourself enough 'time alone' to recover," said datillo. Then, respect yourself for doing something outside your comfort zone and challenge the idea that introverts can't benefit from social interaction. "

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What do you think? How do you overcome Internet anxiety? How important are relationships to your career? How do you prepare the time? Please let us know in the comment area!

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