we all have a destructive voice in our heads, saying less inspiring words from time to time. This inner critic comes at various inconveniences: when we are going to make an important work report, when we are dating a new comer, or when we are looking in the mirror on the way out. But in any case, hearing these negative thoughts about yourself can be annoying at best and frustrating at worst. That's why we turn to experts to find out how to turn down the volume, to be good at this ineffective chatter - or at least to learn how to deal with it effectively. Follow these tips to keep the sound in your head from working best.

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1. It's normal to be aware of negative thoughts. Go ahead and calmly face the fact that you will never have a completely positive idea. " Negative voices will never disappear, at least as long as you are alive. They're just part of the human race, "said Nancy B. Owen, a therapist and clinical hypnotist. However, how you deal with this inner voice is up to you.

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2. Pay attention when your mind darkens. When negative thoughts enter into your inner dialogue, you can do something helpful, that is, admit what they are. " "The first step in dealing with self-criticism is to notice that it's happening," said Farah Tucker, a licensed clinical social worker. This negative inner monologue may become so familiar that we are not always aware of it. " When you don't know it, negative self talk is the most powerful, she explains, because you're more likely to believe in your ideas and identify with them as if they were real. Holding on to yourself and saying what you think in these moments will help you overcome this negative voice. Now listen to me: why is America's obsession with "happiness" so stressful for us? Credit: @ dellucchesefrancesco via tweety20

refute this voice with every day's affirmation. One quick technique you can use when a negative thought begins to circulate endlessly in your mind is to respond with a predetermined positive statement. " Identify three of your negative, self destructive comments - for example, "I'm not good enough," "I'm too fat," "I'll never get married" (sounds familiar?). -BEC Weeden, a nutrition, health and lifestyle coach, suggests that finding affirmation that reinforces these positive oppositions, her practice focuses on practical steps to tame the inner bully. According to her example, these three positive thoughts might be similar to: "I am good enough to deserve everything I want", "I love and appreciate my body" and "I will attract the right partner at the right time." When your negative voices come into your mind, repeat these statements and keep them at hand.

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4. Ask for help to determine your best quality. Another exercise that Weeden uses when dealing with customers who are struggling with negative self talk is to create a survey on an online free survey application with only one question: what are my three best attributes? "

" then I ask customers to send at least 20 people, but the problem is that they have to be all different types of relationships: partners, friends, family, colleagues, classmates, teachers, coaches and so on, "she explains. Tell people it's part of the homework you're asked to do for work or school so you don't get nervous about what other people think. " After you get the results, find out some of the most popular features people mention and put them where you can see them every day.

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5. Write down negative conversations. "One of the most effective strategies to eliminate negative thoughts is to take them out of your mind and write them on paper," said Courtney Sanders, a women's empowerment coach. To make this exercise more effective, cross out every negative thought and write down something more persuasive below. (if you have completed one of the previous suggestions, you should have many options to choose from!) " Sanders added: "it only takes a few weeks to do so and you'll notice that you've got negative thoughts before they're fully formed." Usually, writing down ideas in your head can help take some of their power away.

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6. Respond to inner criticism. Sanders suggests not letting negative self talk prevail. If you are not in a place where you can record or see the affirmation you trust, just say "thank you, but don't thank you" to those useless ideas. One of the biggest difficulties of negative self talk is that people often think of their ideas as themselves, she said. By acknowledging the idea (thanks) and then immediately rejecting it (no thanks), you build awareness that all the random ideas in your mind are not you, and you develop the ability to consciously choose to accept only those beliefs that serve you. Make your inner criticism family oriented. Therapist Jessica Garda suggests that you also try to better understand your inner critic to understand where the negative voice (and the thoughts that follow) comes from. "It will ask questions and see what happens," she said. Who do you sound like in my life? Key friends or partners? Arrogant parents or siblings? Ask: "you have been so strict, is to protect me from harm?" "Visualization can also help you understand and release this criticism more effectively," she added. You can draw your inner critic and see what it looks like when it talks to you, "she said. You can also imagine how you would drive away your inner critic. You may need a ticket and a suitcase. "

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8. Practice self compassion. It's an important practice habit to resist negative chatter by treating yourself well, Tucker said. "Self sympathy is self-criticismThe antidote, "she explained. We all yearn for our acceptance and sympathy. If we notice that we believe in an inner critic, we can deliberately say a good word to ourselves, such as "sorry, you are hurt; I care about you," or "you are not alone." This process begins to change your relationship with yourself so that you can choose to take a negative path.

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9. Celebrate your small achievements. It's another way to make sure that your critics don't overwhelm the positive side of your life. " Focus on small achievements, not big challenges or failures, "said Tracy assamoa, a child and adolescent psychiatrist. For example, instead of thinking "I'll never lose weight," tell yourself, "I'm really proud that I didn't have a second dinner tonight." "Once you get into the habit of doing this, you will start to pat yourself on the back more than tear yourself to pieces.

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10. Beyond your critics. There are certain situations that will definitely lead to negative voices. You can start to recognize these negative voices so that you can be better prepared. " You have years of experience living with yourself and your inner critic. "You also know where you can use some support," said life coach Karin Gillen. Those weak places are your inner critic's playgrounds. Make sure you have a good plan in advance to support yourself when things get uncertain. For example, a family dinner might be when you usually compare yourself with your sister-in-law or listen to your mother-in-law's personal opinions. Before the event, give yourself an inspirational topic, talk about how you want to feel during the party, and practice some specific affirmations you can give yourself when those moments arise. Please be ready at all times.

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